{"id":217,"date":"2009-08-23T09:48:19","date_gmt":"2009-08-23T01:48:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.biatch0.net\/?p=217"},"modified":"2009-08-23T09:48:19","modified_gmt":"2009-08-23T01:48:19","slug":"dear-apple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/2009\/08\/23\/dear-apple\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Apple&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Apple,<\/p>\n<p>If I ever find out which motherfscker designed the Macbook Air, I will rip the nearest lamp post out of the ground and stuff it up his\/her ass light end first before proceeding to move it in a toothbrushing motion. Which fucking retard decided to include a 3.5mm jack&#8230; that can&#8217;t fit 99% of the fucking headphone jacks on the market? Even someone with a twat for a brain wouldn&#8217;t build something like that.<\/p>\n<p>I pray that if I never meet the people responsible that:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>something or someone shits in their Cheerios every morning<\/li>\n<li>birds take a crap on their cars<\/li>\n<li>before taking a crap on their heads as they get out of the car at work so they can&#8217;t go back in and clean up<\/li>\n<li>they step on dog shit as they get out of their car<\/li>\n<li>they step on cat shit after they step out of the dog shit<\/li>\n<li>they trip and fall after stepping out of cat shit<\/li>\n<li>landing face first in a pile of horse shit<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>THAT&#8217;S RIGHT DICKWAD HAVE A GOOD FUCKING DAY!!!<\/p>\n<p>EDIT: Seeing as nobody can plug anything other than the needle dick that the designer of the Air has into the 3.5mm jack&#8230; Who knows if that thing is even connected to anything!!!??? Probably there for display to make potential buyers assume that it&#8217;s actually functional (ASSUMING YOU CAN GET A FUCKING JACK TO PLUG IN THERE).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Apple, If I ever find out which motherfscker designed the Macbook Air, I will rip the nearest lamp post out of the ground and stuff it up his\/her ass light end first before proceeding to move it in a toothbrushing motion. Which fucking retard decided to include a 3.5mm jack&#8230; that can&#8217;t fit 99%&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[11,20,26,32,127,128],"class_list":["post-217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-3-5mm","tag-air","tag-apple","tag-audio-jack","tag-macbook","tag-macbook-air"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biatch0.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}