Here’s a little something that a vast majority of Malaysians (I would use Asian, but I choose not to generalize to such a degree) have yet to realize. We go to a department store, pick up a bottle of perfume, and immediately make an assumption that the “Display till” tag doubles as a “Use by” tag. In the few hours that I have been out today, I have been close to gassed to death twice. The first wasn’t all that bad since it was an open place, however it was a small gathering of people with something in common (I won’t say what) so this yet-to-be-enlightened person kept circulating throughout the crowd and in the process passing me a number of times. Apparently, my profuse coughing when this person was close by wasn’t enough to get the message through to “Person A”. To avoid further attempts by above said person to assassinate (sp.?) me, I proceeded to circulate in unison with the crowd keeping “Person A” as close to the opposite end of the circulation as possible.

Assailant number two forced me to bring out my very best Mission Impossible moves to sustain life within my frail body. Upon getting to my apartment and entering a lift, “Person B” stormed in; along with (what seemed) to be 20 bottles strong of “Perfum Cap X” evenly distributed all over her body. I quickly braced myself in case the elevator cables were to snap under the strain of acrid, pungent, reeking, piercing stench of “Perfum Cap X”. When the assailant figured that I was not a target to be trifled with, she escaped on the 12th floor; leaving behind still some toxic fumes in the hope that they would exterminate me in her absence. I held my breath till the 16th floor, and when the door opened I crawled out weak from the prolonged effects of the toxins in “Perfum Cap X”… but victorious.

One day we shall learn, perfume is meant to be subtle… or so I pray.

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