10 Things I Hate About You

(1) I hate how your defender runs faster than my winger even though your defender is Slow Campbell and my winger is Cristiano Ronaldo.

(2) I hate how your winger runs faster than my defender even though my defender is Roberto Carlos and your winger is Zenden.

(3) I hate how you can magically thread beautiful through balls in between my centrebacks (Nesta and Cannavaro, who incidentally look like they avoid the ball) all the time.

(4) I hate how I can magically pass the ball directly to your players when I try a through ball.

(5) I hate how my strikers are always offside whenever I DO pull off one of those through balls… and how yours are somehow always onside.

(6) I hate those scripted goals, those preset matches, where despite my best (and repeated efforts) it is almost impossible to win (but I eventually do because I get so pissed off I reset the match until I do).

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