Dear Apple…

Dear Apple,

If I ever find out which motherfscker designed the Macbook Air, I will rip the nearest lamp post out of the ground and stuff it up his/her ass light end first before proceeding to move it in a toothbrushing motion. Which fucking retard decided to include a 3.5mm jack… that can’t fit 99% of the fucking headphone jacks on the market? Even someone with a twat for a brain wouldn’t build something like that.

I pray that if I never meet the people responsible that:

  • something or someone shits in their Cheerios every morning
  • birds take a crap on their cars
  • before taking a crap on their heads as they get out of the car at work so they can’t go back in and clean up
  • they step on dog shit as they get out of their car
  • they step on cat shit after they step out of the dog shit
  • they trip and fall after stepping out of cat shit
  • landing face first in a pile of horse shit


EDIT: Seeing as nobody can plug anything other than the needle dick that the designer of the Air has into the 3.5mm jack… Who knows if that thing is even connected to anything!!!??? Probably there for display to make potential buyers assume that it’s actually functional (ASSUMING YOU CAN GET A FUCKING JACK TO PLUG IN THERE).

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